The rain has been relentless. Factor in the gusty wind and we’ve got sideways pelting wetness that renders umbrellas inside out and useless in seconds flat. I think it’s starting to turn me inside out as well. I’ve been in such a reflective state.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I could tell you that this weather and my mood have motivated me to heat up the kitchen with goodness? That I’ve got just the right recipe to share and gently encourage you to cook it too? I guess I could do that, but I wouldn’t be telling the truth. I haven’t cooked in weeks. That’s the truth. The last thing I made were these brownies. I wish I had one to eat right now. Want to know what I had for dinner? Tortilla chips, Spanish nut mix, and a bowl of vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce on top.

It’s been a long week.

Here’s the thing. Every week seems long and too short at the same time. I don’t know how it’s possible. My mind darts in a thousand different directions every minute. I want to slow down some things and speed up others. Take all that, plus this weather, and I’m in some sort of obscure rogue mind space. Uncharted territory. Anticipating and reflecting and attempting to balance it all.

Seems fitting that I just finished rereading The Catcher in the Rye. I hadn’t read it since I was 15. I forgot how sad it is. Maybe I didn’t find it sad when I was 15? I know I loved it then. I still love it now. The last few pages of the book, when Holden and his sister Phoebe are together, are so fragile and eloquent. I want to tuck those pages away into a tiny pocket of my brain to revisit whenever I wish.

Tonight, curled up in a chair with my big bowl of ice cream and a cup of mint tea, I read Hazel’s 26-page application for the NYU Law Arthur Helton Global Human Rights Fellowship. In short, her proposal is to live and work in Port-au-Prince next year focusing primarily on two projects: The Rape Accountability and Prevention Project and the Housing Rights Advocacy Project. Reading it, I felt like Holden Caulfield did when he was watching Phoebe sleep. I felt in awe. My little sister is the most inspiring person I know.

This entry is a jumble. Thank you kindly for reading; it’s actually been quite therapeutic to write. If you’ve made it this far, you deserve a little something savory. How about a popcorn pic! Hopefully inspiring enough that you pop some yourself this weekend. The real way, in a big pot with a little oil. Here’s the secret: salt AND pepper. I promise. It’s the best.

Hazel got the fellowship, by the way. So I’ll definitely be heading to Haiti sometime next year to conduct serious Happelsauce research. Pass the pikliz, please…


2 thoughts on “Reflections

  1. What a lovely reflective post. You illuminate, you shine, you inspire. Both of you do. XOXOXOXO and beyond a big sky full of love. Pom

  2. Dang! Sister, it is an honor to appear on Happelsauce, and with such generous statements! I cannot wait to explore Port au Prince with you next year. And, better yet, in due time I shall move west to join you on the couch on a Friday night. Popcorn and pikliz for dinner (no nut mix, thanks) please. I love you. xoxo

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